Okay, so actually forgot about Friday (Yes, I was driving for 12 hours), so here is my Friday Five, just a tad bit late.

When was the last time you…

1. …sent a handwritten letter? I actually cannot remember. What was your e-mail address again?

2. …baked something from scratch or made something by hand? I don’t bake much, but I make dinners from scratch all the time, and I just built a custom tv wall unit a few months ago. (Then took it all down this week for another idea).

3. …camped in a tent? That would be back in 1994 or 1995, I think. Will again soon though, since the boys want me to “build them a tent” all the time.

4. …volunteered your time to church, school, or community? Far, far too long, I am afraid.

5. …helped a stranger? Human? A couple months ago, I helped a little old lady load some bags of potting soil into her car. Animal? We adopted a Golden Retriever Mix (a year old) from the Humane Society, that was due to be put down (not too humane if you ask me).

Ultimately the CEO of a company is responsible for what happens to the company. But what if he/she had nothing to do with it? Who do you think will pay for WorldCom? Enron? Global Crossing? And all the rest who shall be revealed?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Well, I was wrong. I had to stick around until the embedded Linux system actually routed. Eleven o’clock turned into 12, and 12 turned into 5. I actually stayed at the office until 2 am, and then got some sleep and hit the road at 6:30 am. Traffic was heavier than usual, but I still made it home in 11 and a half hours. WOOHOO!

I should be on the road by 11 tomorrow morning. I still have a few things I need to finish at the office, but I should be able to head out on time. It has been a productive week. I installed custom software on a client site, installed a new “help desk” package for our customers, helped a co-worker learn more about SQL statements in Visual Basic, upgraded our Intranet server, and have almost completed a new embedded Linux router for one of our products.

My week has been busy. No wonder Crab Cakes sound so good right now.

Now, just what is SHE thinking? The United States was good enough for her to immigrate too. The United States was good enough for her while she earned TONS of money playing tennis. Now, for whatever reason, Martina Navratilova says we have no values and it is all the Republican Party’s fault.

U.S. tennis great Martina Navratilova criticized her adopted homeland in a German newspaper on Wednesday, saying money is the only thing that matters there.

She should know.

“The Republicans in the United States manipulate public opinion and sweep any controversial issues under the table,” Navratilova said.

I am not taking sides here, but the Republican’s are not the only ones who manipulate public opinion and sweep controversial issues under the desk… err… table.

Word to Martina: Are you really thinking of re-locating?

This is so sick. How could anyone think… Sheesh… Yuck… Absolutely nasty.

A child has been sharing milk from a bowl with a group of “holy” rats at an Indian temple.

Click here for the photo.

My favorite part of the story: It’s said if you spot a white rat, you’ll have good luck.

I have heard of COOKIES and MILK but this is ridiculous.

Pledge Declared Unconstitutional. Now ain’t that just toooo stupid?

Do I really need to comment on this? What in the hell is the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals smoking? Is their a brushfire in a marijuana field nearby? WHAT IS GOING ON? You know, this kind of thing sets precedence, and that’s what is scary.

Coming soon to an America near you:

The U.S. Constitution will be declared unconstitutional because the preamble states: We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

The Declaration of Independence will be declared unconstitutional because it begins: When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. and continues with: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

All current U.S. currency will be declared worthless and unconstitutional because of the words, “In God We Trust“.

You know… It COULD happen. So, in honor of those of you who cannot remember the Pledge of Allegiance:

I Pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Word to the wise: We must stop putting SENILE OLD PEOPLE in positions of POWER.

Okay, I thought the “E” word, ENRON, was going to be the “financial scandal” of the new millineum. Boy was I wrong. What did they (those responsible for the scandal) lose (err… hide)? A meager $2.7 billion or so if I am not mistaken. Then today, we all wake up today to the “W” word. No, I am not talkin about our President. The “W” is for WorldCom, and WHOA, after they announce their “discovery” of fraud amounting to over $3.6 billion.

WorldCom said it ?promptly notified its recently engaged external auditors, KPMG LLP, and has asked KPMG to undertake a comprehensive audit of the company?s financial statements for 2001 and 2002.? WorldCom also notified Arthur Andersen LLP, which had audited the company?s financial statements for 2001 and reviewed such statements for first quarter 2002.

Did you catch that? Lowest common denominator: Arthur Andersen.

(NOTE: I personally thought AA was getting a bad rap for the Enron scandal, now I am not so sure. Of course, they have DENIED having anything to do with this one. Officials with Arthur Andersen were unavailable for comment. Of course, why in the heck would I try to call them anyway?)

I just got this e-mail from my mom’s cousin Bruce, in Canada. I don’t know how much longer I will claim relationship to him, but I do have one thing to say to him.

—– EMAIL BEGINS —–

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, “Where have you been?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look Michael, look what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?” “It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.” “Balance?” inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, “For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I’ve placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people,” God continued, pointing to different countries. “This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.” The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a large land mass in the top corner and asked, “What’s that one?” “Ah,” said God. “That’s Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they’re going to be found travelling the world. They’ll be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I’m also going to give them superhuman, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them.” Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; “What about balance, God? You said there would be BALANCE!”

God replied wisely. “Wait until you see the loudmouth bastards I’m putting next to them….”

—– EMAIL ENDS —–

Bruce, a word to the wise: Don’t ever send this joke about Canadian arrogance to any more loudmouth, yet very understanding, Americans. <smirk>

Tonight, I watched the series premiere of Connie Chung Tonight.

I think Connie is an excellent broadcaster and I think once she settles into her new digs, only good things will happen. Of course, tonight’s premiere was great, with one exception.

(Note: I wanted to link this story to Connie’s site on CNN.com but they do not have that story linked on her site). tsk tsk tsk.

The entire show was wonderful, except when she interviewed the man, err, freak from Milwaukee who:

A Milwaukee man who was turned in by syndicated columnist “Dear Abby” after asking for advice on dealing with his fantasies of sex with children was placed on eight years of probation Tuesday for possession of child pornography.

He was all over the screen boo-hoo’ing about his “situation” saying he would never “hurt” any young girls, because he gave us his word. He stated he had “tried” to get help several times. Somehow, I don’t think writing a letter to an advice columnist was a form of serious help (no offense to advice columnists).

At first, I was torn by this story. I mean, when you get advice from a professional, your details are supposed to remain confidential and private between you and that professional. How terrible that she could reveal such information when all he was doing was reaching out for help.

Then it hit me. Abigail Van Buren is a pseudonym for an advice columnist, not a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. SHE IS A NEWSPAPER COLUMNIST! (Not that newspaper columnists cannot be professional).

The problem for Phillips: Much of the Dear Abby column’s credibility is based on anonymity for advice-seekers and a long track record of helping people, not turning them in for prosecution.

Where did people get the idea that advice columnists would keep their details confidential? Why did he think she would not go to the police?

This fool and his freedom were soon parted, or not.